was it 26

There’s a song by the Charlie Daniels Band called “Was It 26” and it’s basically about how his life crashed and burned when he was twenty-five...or was it twenty-six? And that’s for sure not where my life is at right now, but it could have been. It should have been. But God.

I always get a little introspective this time of year, though, and it’s funny where those rabbit holes come out in my thought process. Like I’ve been thinking about goals that different people have and sometimes we call them dreams and that’s great.  Sometimes we have different pursuits but we meet someone incredible and we try to borrow their dreams. I wonder if that ever works out well for anyone.  Conversely, sometimes we just meet someone who genuinely has the same motivators pushing them toward the same goal we have. It’s organic and genuine and beautiful.

Earlier this year, I thought maybe I would be able to think of twenty-six things I’ve learned since my last birthday. That isn’t going to happen. But I will share some highlights.

1) Sharing the most intimate nooks and crannies of your brain will be one of the most terrifying, rewarding, freeing things you ever do, if you can. For the past four years, I have faithfully (ish) kept a journal, thanks to my friend Jim Purdie. Now those raw, sometimes foul, thoughts are in the possession of my sweet friend Lydia. It’s crazy how much good it has done both of us.

2) Contentment is fluid. If you cannot continue to learn and grow and adjust within contentment, your life will grow stagnant and stale no matter the situation, no matter how well you are thriving right now.

3) Everything, literally everything, can and will be used for God’s greatest good for your life.  Even when you’re being a stubborn moron, even when you’re ignoring Him, even in adverse consequence because of disobedience, God will not abandon you. Not now, not ever. 

cucumber lime oolong tea, iced please

"It has been three weeks since my last fish, on my honor, or may I be chopped up and made into soup."

Not really, but it has been three weeks since I sat in Brewers Two with a small drink and let my thoughts wander.  I made the unfortunate mistake of parking on the street today.  Oh well.  The world spins on.

Being back at Brewers means I am back in Wisconsin, which means the dreaded doctor visits are done...for now.  Current verdict is that I will return for a check up every six months for the next year or two. At that point, if nothing has changed, I will need a more in depth procedure.  Until then, I get to enjoy my summer and press on toward the end of Bible school.

On my flight back to WI from my sister's nursing graduation in TX (proud of you, Mer!), I listened to a TED talk given by Anne Lamott.  I'm not convinced of her spiritual grounding nor what she fully believes in, but something she said beaned me a good one: "A good name for God is 'Not Me'."  You're right, Anne.  Through the past while of oscillation, my heart has never been more convinced that God is present, loving, and active.  Now that a lull of comfortable clarity has been achieved, I wonder if that is what this has all been about.

May Flowers

Last Friday, I drove home to NY for doctor appointments, which I’m still waiting on results from.  However, my mom and I went for coffee the other morning and as I looked out the window at bright spring blooming around us, I was just reminded of God’s wild attention to detail, His happiness with our wonder at His creative world around us, how slow and all together swift time and seasons are. I hope, friend, you like  the flowers as much as I did.