we look different now

Tan and I recently had the privilege of going to Iowa for our friends’ wedding. Still rocking the buzzed hair.

The combination of mine and Tanner’s hair off of our heads.

My friend Molly and I went on a walk and snapped a selfie.

a billion trillion lights

the stars

are

a billion trillion points of light

visible only to earth at night 

while the sun is not 

and God 

made it so.

the church 

is 

a billion trillion points of light 

visible over thousands of years of time 

while the Son is gone 

and God 

made it so.

so why are the lights flickering?

maybe because it’s darkest before dawn 

maybe because the Son won’t be gone 

much 

longer.

how much 

longer?

new perspectives

 when new people speak into your life, new pathways or connections need to be made in your mind. new realities need to be accepted and considered. new ideas need an opportunity to brew, to be mulled over.  here are some of those thoughts over the past few weeks:

"sometimes God uses people to draw our hearts out, so we can learn, in time, to allow the Holy Spirit to that, just the two of us."  a question that I have carried since childhood is, "why isn't praying enough? why does it feel like I need to talk to people, even after I talk to God?"  the reality is that there are two truths. the first truth is that God has created us in community. the second is that God created our most core desires and needs to be met in Him and Him alone. those two truths together are what make that opening quote to this paragraph relevant. God uses His people to work with each other in the process of becoming totally reliant on Him. that answers my question, but it takes time to mull it over and accept it.

"everyone has been wounded by someone else, and everyone has wounded someone else. no one is an exception."  that reality is devastating to me.  at the very core of who I was made to be, I am disgusted and horrified when faced with the reality that I have wounded others and will continue to do so, accident though it may be, in the future. that's a truth, too, but is God's intent with showing me the truth for me to get stuck on devastation? does He want me to spiral downward in despair?  no! the hope, the purpose, the intent is for me to recognize how and where I wound others and to stop, to apologize, to ask God for help in healing rather than hurting.

i am learning, and it is still a process.