TBH

To be honest, I'm tired.  I wake up at all hours of the night.  Sometimes I know where I am, other times is takes a couple of minutes to figure out why a DC fan is thundering in my ear and nothing smells like home.  You would think this perpetual wakefulness would carry over into daylight hours, but it doesn't.

To be honest, gumption is running incredibly low in my system. We're painting the interior of another family's house after school every day.  Even though I love helping and I'm always glad afterward, I dread going down there every day until I'm there. Something is wrong with that picture.

To be honest, there is an insistent little voice in my brain that thinks God should hurry up and tell me what's next, already.  The rest of my mind and heart know He'll tell me when I need to know, but that little part is some kind of impatient.

To be honest, if I never see another cucumber when this is over, it will be too soon.  I crave corn, sprouts, kale, spinach, and berries.  Chipotle and Loving Hut haunt my hungriest dreams.  Guacamole.  Say it with me.

To be honest, I just want to stand in a hot shower after a long swim.  Then, I want to put on leggings and a sweatshirt and chill with the fam.

To be honest, this experience is everything I hoped it would be and more.  Every day brings new lessons for me as well as the girls.  I wouldn't change anything that brought me here, even if I could.  Each small discomfort or longing is so temporal.  They will not be the things I remember come October.  The work God is doing here is exciting, life-changing, for an entire people group, not just me.  It's about the big picture, not the uncomfortable details.  As long as I remember that, we'll be okay.