Here’s the only way that can be a good thing: If this list brings me to my knees saying, “Lord, thank you for the work you have done and continue to do in my heart. I know it’s all you, so thanks for using me.”
The temptation is to look at myself with the thought, “Wow, you’re so much better than you were then. Look at you go, Viv! You’ve got this life thing in the bag.” SO MANY LEVELS OF WRONG!
I guess the best part of driving into Reynoldsburg, OH yesterday was finally understanding one of the big takeaways God gave when I lived here. I’d recognized the circumstance before, but I didn’t grasp the importance of it until I was driving into town, talking on the phone with Tanner as a sort of “stay awake” insurance.
Despite my niceness/kindness and my desire for the Lord two years ago, I was looking back on two years further back. While I gave some of the credit to God, the proud self-exultation I mentioned above is pretty close to what I was thinking then. I was convinced I was better, that I didn’t need to worry about my old pitfalls, that I was strong enough now. And that thought process landed me in just as much of a garbage situation as I had been. So what is the lesson?
There is pride in every human heart, including mine. Fostering it at all is a really bad move. Every good thing is from God; every centimeter of growth is to God’s credit. Vivian without Him is a haughty piece of trash, destined for mistakes and bad circumstances. In light of this, my prayer is that God would continue to humble me and work in my heart to keep my perspective His perspective.
Just for kicks, here’s a lovely photograph that has nothing to do with my non-nephew who already loves me even though we’ve only met twice.
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