Did you know that even if you've convinced yourself that everything is fine, your body still has ways of telling you that everything is not fine? Like, say for example, making your right eye twitch for weeks. A week ago, my eye and emotional well-being were in a state. Planning a wedding felt like too much, going to a missionary training center seemed impossible, work was too much to think about, and my mind was still in New York with my family. I was crying a couple times a day, no problem.
Fast-forward to this week. My bestest friend flew out to Wisconsin despite the corona apocalypse, and the first thing she said when she saw me was, "I'm taking you grocery shopping. Not for me, for you." We got groceries, and with them, we hatched the hair-brained idea to make the flower arrangements for my wedding arch ourselves. (Spoiler: they look SO much better than I was afraid they would!) We've eaten a lot food, talked about the wedding weekend, organized, planned, and purchased. She's had the chance to spend time with my fiance. We've slept in.
My eye hasn't twitched in 36 hours.
And I think that's the reminder or lesson or moral. Not many parts of life, particularly wedding planning, were designed to be handled by one person in isolation. While I know in my head that God designed people for community, to be balanced and supported and encouraged, I forget that I am not an exception even though I have enough stubbornness and pride for an army. Asking for help is hard. Asking for help figuring out what I need help with is...confusing. The small seed of panic in my chest knows that not everything is figured out, but that is why I have a small army of God-fearing women around me, for planning wedding to marriage and beyond.
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