Missing Ingredients

I'm very gung-ho about strict vegetarianism.  There is a certain level of awareness about what goes into fueling my body that is, truth be told, addicting.  All that said, pre-vegan Vivian loved when Rachel would make a massive pan of Pad Thai.  It's a dish that I now crave as much for nostalgia's sake as flavor's.  About a month ago this craving prompted me to attemp a vegan version of Pad Thai. After all, I'm living in Southeast Asia. How hard could it be?

Apparently harder than I thought.

A few attempts later, I messaged Rachel to figure out what I was missing.  The answer? Shrimp and fish paste.  And it doesn't matter how I manipulate the tofu or rice vinegar or soy.  The food tastes good, but it isn't what I'm craving.

This isn't the first time missing ingredients have tripped me up.  I was reminded of that last night when Danny, Pip, and I chatted over a cup of tea.  They were encouraging me in my pursuit of Bible school and I was explaining how foreign missions are heavy on my heart.

"It doesn't matter what you eat or how healthy you can help someone become physically," I said.  "If there's a soul problem, all the physical help in the world can't replace Christ, you know?"

Danny's response hit me hard. "Right.  These are good things, but they can't be in lieu of Christ.  You can use them as tools to show Christ to lost people, but you can't replace Christ with a diet plan."

Ouch.

Why did it sting? I know those things. I've said nearly identical words myself.  

It stung because even though I had started out with those intentions at the Y, the light I strove to be flickered when the peer pressure mounted.  Lying awake last night, reality came crashing in: my career at the Y didn't fail because it was a dark place, it failed because I neglected the main ingredient.  No career, fitness or mission based, will satisfy my craving for purpose driven life if I leave Christ out.

I'm grateful for the reminder to keep my eyes fully fixed on Christ, to never look away.  Like Peter walking on the water, all my attention must be honed in on the One who enables me to stay above the waves.  I'm thankful for the timeliness of this revelation as I prepare to head back to "real life" in several weeks.  In His strength, these steps can be made by faith. By His grace, these eyes can remain fixed on Him.  

Especially Wasabi

God created certain foods in holy matrimony. Peanut butter and jelly. Cinnamon and sugar.  Tomato and basil.  Hummus and pita bread.  And...the shining stars of my dinner this evening: wasabi and soy sauce.  More on that in a minute.

Sometimes vacations start out rough.  Over-excited kids, over-exhausted adults...it really isn't a recipe for a swell beginning to any venture. This vacation didn't start that way. Despite all the different emotions, we spent an extremely chill morning splashing around a sunny pool. J and B each got a quick swimming lesson and our morning vanished like a mountain mist.

After a low-key lunch, we divided and conquered.  The kids tromped around the guesthome playground; the guys took on the hardware stores; Shannon and I traipsed through SM with minimal guidelines for this week's menu.  It was...*ahem*...we did not tell ourselves no about very much. Lo and behold, that is why we have leche in the fruit bowl, melon seeds in the snacks, and wasabi powder in the cupboard. Avocado season is upon us, so we scrounged around for cilantro and corn chips for guacamole.  We found a random jar of Dijon mustard...and bought it.  Same thing with a bottle of sriracha sauce.  Eggplant, lemons, a white cucumber. You get the idea.

Upon returning to the guesthome, another pair of missionaries treated the family to a barbecue dinner.  This was a great blessing to Shannon because it meant she didn't have to cook.  It was also a blessing for me because it meant I got to make whatever I wanted!  THAT is how I ended up with wasabi-sesame-soy fried eggplant and tofu over rice with a little more wasabi. My tastebuds were in so much love that I made a second batch to eat tomorrow for lunch.

As if these blessings weren't enough, I have been praying for an opportunity to talk with Shannon about the future.  The opportunity arose this evening and we were both able to share our hearts with each other.  You have absolutely no idea how great it feels to know we are all on the same page.  

One step at a time, remember? And who knows! You might even get to learn how to make wasabi paste along the way.

Lunch Lady Land

Remember that time when I was like, "Sorry, food hijacked my life but it's all good now"?  Apparently that was a lie. There is something remarkably romantic about food.  Not a boy-meets-girl romance.  It is more of a quaint romance, the quiet kind that settles contentedly in one's soul.  To be honest, it is one of the purest joys any basic creature can experience.  The amazing part is that God allows mankind to take it one step further.  We have not only been given the ability to play with flavor and elements, but we also get to share it with each other.  In short, good food lays better foundations for great relationships than anything else.

Don't argue with the facts. Jesus himself ate with his disciples and demanded they continue that tradition until his return.  Nearly every budding relationship is nurtured with well-made food. (Coffee counts.) Babies bond with their primary food source for the majority of their early lives.  Good food isn't an accident and someone sharing that food with you isn't just nice.  It's everyday romance.  Deal with it.

All of that said, good food or bad, I hate seeing it go to waste.  Imagine a house where people compete to see who can eat the oldest left overs.  (Yes, that's you, Uncle David.) But in tribal Filipino culture, waste is even more offensive and they don't have refrigerators.  One social gathering will tell you all you need to know.  Personally, rice is the only permissible choice as far as food goes at these things, but take a glance at everyone else's plates.  They're happily tucking into fried pork blood and intestines with gusto.  Get the picture?

Daily life is organized around meal times...and coffee times...and the preparation of food for those times.  There is an ongoing assessment of The Fresh: What is going to spoil first, so it can be eaten first? Is anything too far gone to be eaten that is salvageable for baking or cooking? Can this be preserved by freezing?  Is anything showing signs of worms or rot?  The surprising part is that it's more of a game than a chore because all of the above questions have follow-up questions: Cookies or bread? Stir fry? Would these flavors pair well together? Could I try substituting this for that? What if we invented something savory with this, instead of the usual sweet?  The results of our labors are almost always good.  If they aren't, the process was still fun, a lesson was learned, and the desire to make it better is undeniable.

Around the food, life waltzes along.  Just yesterday a beautiful baby girl was born in the village. Two of the kids spent time expanding their portion of the garden this morning.  Adobo the pig has an umbilical hernia that might determine the length of her extended lifespan. All of these things happen slowly, then all at once. Through it all, we break out bread, give thanks, and bask in the romantic blessing of it all.