no one shovels sunshine

Do you ever have a day when you, in your very innermost being, are convinced it is going to be a bad day? Like it’s the coldest week of this winter, your heat in your apartment is out, you almost overslept for work, and when was the last time you actively read God’s Word. I mean, yeah, that one verse in Proverbs 17 is still relevant, but that’s about a week old now. Praying and meditating is good. They need fresh input to be great.

Anyway, I was convinced today would be a toughie, but it’s impossible to shovel sunshine. God provided not one, not two, not three, but four undeniable blessings that spread light over my entire day. Just regular Joe-shmoe people saying, “Hey, I can tell something isn’t right, here’s a thing to make your day better.” And I knew it was God. 

God is just... He knows, man. He sees my anxiety about the wedding. He hears my concern about life after. He is no stranger to my fear gnawing away at the hope to pursue overseas ministry. And today He shared the sunshine with me. And today I am challenged to trust.

thankfulness in color

(in my dotage, i am learning to fall asleep anywhere and be thankful for the moments of rest)

(i have a family full of love and i am thankful for my time with them)

(i have friends and they are full of love, too)

(tanner is home and there is all the love to be shared)

I am worried and thankful, so I guess I must choose peace, but with people like this, it is much easier to make that choice.

New Pictures

(My CM Leadership ladies 💛)


(Our after school program had a district-wide sled race. My 1st and 2nd graders made the second fastest sled over all!)


(This is a late picture from Christmas break, but Tan hobbled around the Cobleskill reservoir with me on his barely repaired meniscus.)


(My dad sent me Valentine’s flowers!)

gluten-full or gluten-free

Brief prelude: I love food.  I also have a sweet tooth. Also, there’s a bakery twenty minutes away that makes vegan, cane sugar-less scones.  And I have some really great friends that went to experience that with me. (With the promise we’d go to a second bakery for them afterward.) Life is good.

(The first bite of a chunky monkey scone 😍)

(Marty, Acacia, Jenny, and me)

(Too many choices. Also, I dress like a hobo. It’s fine.)

Summer Poetry

whispering.

rustling.

waving.

who can guess what the grass is

saying?

gusting.

rushing.

blowing.

who can say where the wind is

going?

listening.

watching.

waiting.

i don’t know why but i am

trying.

(Just some thoughts from the strawberry field earlier this week. And below are two of my favorite views recently.)

PS: Life is good.

Red Eyes

I think I’ve written something by this title before. If you don’t mind, would you go back and check for me? Please and thank you.  If  I did, this is Red Eyes 2.0.

My desire today is to be honest without contention. (Is that the word I want?) The point is, I don’t want to be a whiner. You feel me?

Red eyes for two reasons. Or, rather, two facets of one reason. My stomach is in full rebellion, so I have red eyes from no sleep and red eyes from the horrible, terrible, awful, lingering gas that refuses to stay in my stomach. It’s clear the room gas.  It’s please kill me now gas.

But I guess nothing breaks the ice like a good fart, eh? These farts literally melt glacial planes. “If you smell something, it’s me.” “Oh it’s fine....OH MAN! IS THAT YOU?”

This is the part where I should have an object lesson. You know, when I say something about what God is teaching me through this and it’s funny but also healthy, embarrassing growing pains. Maybe humility? Or lay off the pistachios or canned pineapple or bananas or whatever did this to me? Excess of anything will ruin my guts for days, so remember moderation? Nah, it’s probably humility.

Until next time, humans.

A Lot of Little Lessons

I'm at the part of this particular season in which everyone starts asking, "How has your time here been?" "What has been the most memorable part?" "Do you feel different?" "Are you ready to go home?" And each of those questions has a multifaceted answer that boils down to a combination of yes and no and something in between. Every day seems told hold a lesson these days. There is so much discovery happening, a small epiphany here and the glimmer of understanding there. God has been and continues to be faithful and loving in teaching me about perspective, persistence, patience, purpose, prayer...the list goes on.

Tomorrow is the first day of school of our last ten weeks together.  Ten weeks and this incredible journey transitions to the next step. It really is a bittersweet time stamp.  Sweet because I have loved ones waiting to embrace me, stories to hear and share, new prospects to pursue.  But it is also bitter because I have to leave the Philippines in the middle of the work being done here.  It's bitter because I am afraid of facing first world "reality", reverse culture shock, and the commonplace distractions that are absent in my current daily life.  

Before my time here, I would have said there isn't a place for a single woman on the mission field.  While I remain convicted of specified roles in congregational worship and teaching according to gender, there are so many different pieces and roles that form an effective mission that can be and are filled by single women.  All my excuses for ignoring long term mission work have dissipated, leaving behind a burning desire to live out the great commission.

I'm afraid of American culture quenching that desire.  Without God's constant sustenance, I'm not strong enough to stick to my guns. Which segues nicely into my prayer for this mission as I prepare to leave: it has been a privilege to experience the varied personalities on this particular mission field.  Each member of each team brings something essentially unique to the table of service.  Their different specialties and quirks and methods provide the necessary avenues to connect with people groups and subcultures to perform God's work.  And yet, these differences can also trip each other up without that focus on God's divine plan.  My heart is filled with a prayer for unity, just as it is filled with a celebration of God's unique gifting of His servants.

All that being said, we aren't finished yet.  Ten weeks is still a ways to go.  I'm willing, if not ready, so Lord, let me finish strong.